I somehow forgot how love feels like because I am used being the irrelevant, unnoticed and a wallflower.
To my next love, please remind me of what love feels like.
You don’t have any idea how much courage it took me to love again. Love taught me to be tough. I used to cry until daybreak so please bear with me when tears starts rolling in my cheeks every time I would feel ‘butterflies in my tummy.’ No, I am not excited, I more scared, because the last time I felt that, my whole life changed.
Every time you will stare at my hazel brown eyes, I need you to see the lost and broken soul that tries to conquer battles every single day.
I used to believe that I should work hard to be loved, that I need to be intelligent, brilliant, talented, skilled and bold to be loved, that my normal nerdy self won’t pass the standards of ‘the deserving people’. If you will notice me trying to be the cool kid or doing ‘cool kid stuff’ please understand that I just stopped trying to please other people and maybe, this is part of withdrawal. Please know that I’m trying my best to be myself when I’m with you. I need you to understand that I’m trying to find my old self.
Please love every piece of me.
All of my wounds, every bit of my brokenness, every drop of my tears. Please take it and hold my hand and promise me to never let go.
I had trust issues in the past, but this time I want to trust with no fear. I want you to take my heart with all the wounds and battle scars. I want you to love all of me without reservations.
My heart is filled with different scars and wounds. To be honest, I think I cannot take another heartbreak. So please know this.
Love me with all your heart and soul. Make me believe in the magic of love again.
remove all of the fears I have in my heart or better yet, let’s conquer my fears together. I just need you to assure me that everything will be fine. Make me see the shine beyond the sky where I no longer fear to soar.
I need someone to pursue me with my bare soul- that includes my uncertainties, indecisiveness, dramas and lots of ice cream. My walls will eventually fall apart and my scars will be yours to mold into something beautiful.
I can tell you loving me won’t be easy. You will feel giving up at times. But if you’re the right one for me, all the pain and dramas will be worth it.
And maybe, just maybe ..I can finally give you the kind of love you deserve.