I stood alone on the shore of the abandoned beach, dead coconut trees everywhere with dry leaves falling from the tree. The sea song of the waves frightened me. The heap of the waves swelled loudly. I saw little creatures crawling from the small hole of the tree, destroying it. The tree used to be beautiful, full of colors and life. Maybe, I am like that tree, destroyed by little voices at the back of my mind, my colors faded, slowly dying from the inside, hitting my core.

The glassy air carries a faintly feeling of abandonment.

Where I am now?

I am in a waist-deep part in an abandoned beach that used to be beautiful filled with laughter, smiles, memories and stories, feeling the little waves in my chest, in my heart. The raging waves of the sea made my heart thump again, because of fear. I have loaded my pockets with shells, big and small, turned back to the shore and moved slowly into the neck-deep water, feeling the little waves on my forehead, trying to breathe using the stuck air in my lungs.

I cannot move because of the shells in my pocket, I was stuck in neck-deep water in the middle of nowhere. I shouted with all of the force left in my body, but no one answered, no one helped me. I felt the waves of the sea pull me to the other side, my skin turning pale white, I can feel my blood slowly moving from my veins, I could feel my salty tears fall down – this time it found a place to fit in, my salty tears belonged to the beach and the air was filled with the smell of salt. Maybe, they have same component, same reasons, and same wounds. Just like the beach, my tears are unnoticed and abandoned.

I looked up and saw infinite, majestic, jewel like blue sky above promising sunshine, and the huge, fluffy white clouds adding a touch of magic.

But I can choose; I can choose to remove the shells from my pocket to be able to swim and float back to the shore. I can choose to let go of the things that is holding me back to live, to breathe, and to smile again.

Maybe, I can still turn this abandoned beach to a beautiful one by creating new memories and beautiful stories. I can give life to the dying coconut tree and restore it, removing the little creatures that destroy its core.

The waves finally tamed as I step my foot on the shore, with the sand glittering under the sun. The waves rolled in with a soothing sound that embraces your soul, I walked and footprints I left behind were erased by the waves.

I am now free of shells, angry waves and raging feelings of abandonment. 

 

 

 

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