When I started college, I thought I knew what I wanted. I had a “five years from now” plan because I was sure of my dream, I was sure that I was destined to here. I was told to always follow my heart and eventually everything will work out. My instructors, counselors, friends helped me to bloom to a beautiful and unique flower. I thought I was ready for the real world.
This question has been my favorite when I was a young girl, but a month before my graduation day, it started to terrify and planted doubt and fear in my heart.
“What are your plans?”
The whole world has lots of expectations of you once you march in your toga and you move that tassel. Finally, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for, the moment you’ve prayed and wished for as a kid but suddenly, the feeling of excitement was overpowered by fears, thoughts started to pop up in your mind, you began to ask yourself questions and the clear picture of plans you had four years ago is now blurry.
Before my graduation day, I got lost and my core was slowly falling apart. I began to wonder about the world, about life. I realized that I was not alone; most of the people who just received their diplomas are confused and lost, too. The scary part is one day, I was so sure of where I’d be heading or what are my game plan then confusion started to creep in again, and I was back to my old self, lost, confused and had no idea what path should I take.
Today marks the first day of my after-grad life. To be honest, I still fear what will happen next. But I think this is my season, to be lost, to take risks, to accept that at this age I don’t need to know and figure out everything.
And if there’s one takeaway that I have learned from this journey, it’s this: being lost does not mean you’re losing, maybe it’s God’s way of redirecting you to your real success and purpose.
Be faithful and trust his plans for you. Accept the detours, constructions and bumpy roads. One day, you’ll look back to this day and everything will make sense.
And being lost in a road won’t make you less as a person. Having doubts after you get your diploma doesn’t mean you need to have a concrete plan, sometimes you just need to wait.
You have your whole life ahead of you, this is just the beginning. There are still huge waves of lesson surging your way, battles you need to conquer and wars to win. You are young. The world will not end because you chose the wrong path or the bad road. You are only starting to have a dip in the endless sea of life. And it’s okay to drown and be lost once in a while.
It’s okay not have check marks in your bucket list. It’s natural to sob and leave your pillows soaked in tears. It does not mean you lost the battle; it is a reminder that you are just any other human being. It’s not wrong to take note of your emotions when making life decisions.
To you, my dearest, who feel lost and confused just as I do, you just have to hold on to that little hope in your heart and enjoy your season of wondering. One day, life will bring you to where God always wanted you to be and where your heart will finally find its home.
But for now, you just have to trust, surrender and cling to his promise.
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